Kebiasaan buruk ni..
Niat mau kerja, siap" buka laptop, udah susah payah pasang speaker, pasang playlist yg ok buat kerja, en.. akhirnya malah browsing loh..
dengan excuse browsing tentang global crisis buat materi presentasi, keterusan buka facebook, baca blog astrid, dan akhirnya malah pengen nulis blog juga.

gw emang gak jago nulis, kalo nulis mampet gak punya ide.
i only have one idea...
and that comes in a name : rido
dan tetap aja ide itu gak bisa diungkapkan lewat tulisan
lebih seru kalau ide itu dibiarkan hidup dan menyelinap di setiap sela" pemikiran
dan menikmati perasaan yang timbul setiap ide tersebut muncul

tiba" aja, ide tersebut jadi bagian dari hidup
mulai merasa kehilangan ketika ide itu gak ketemu
merasa excited hanya dengan mendengar bunyi handphone yang menandakan berkurangnya rasa kehilangan
dan bahkan merasa khawatir ketika tiba" ide tersebut tidak seperti biasanya dan jatuh sakit

sampai akhirnya gw sadari kalau hidup gw sudah terimbas dengan kehadirannya
dengan saling melengkapi dan membuat masing-masing menjadi lebih baik

dan sekarang .. back to work.. with coffee since my eyes are getting heavier
posted by Agnes Kristianti at 3:48 AM




Tuhan memang luar biasa!

... our brains can help us accomplish virtually anything we desire. The brain's capacity is nearly unfathomable. It's capable of processing up to 30 billion bits of information per second and it boasts the equivalent of 6000 miles of wiring and cabling.

Typically the human nervous system contains about 28 billion neurons. Without neurons, our nervous systems would be unable to interpret the information we receive through our sense organs, unable to convey it to the brain and unable to carry out instructions from the brain as to what to do. These neurons act independently, but they also communicate with other neurons through an amazing network of 100,000 miles of nerve fibers.

Each time we experience a significant amount of pain or pleasure, our brains search for the cause and record it in our nervous systems to enable us to make better decisions about what to do in the future.

When we do something for the first time, we create a physical connection, a thin neural strand that allows us to re-access that emotion or behavior again in the future. Each time we repeat the behavior, the connection strengthens. Wih enough repetitions and emotional intensity, we can add many strands simultaneously, increasing the tensile strength of this emotional or behavioral pattern until eventually we have a 'trunk line' to this behavior or feeling.

.... truly inspiring ....

(all taken from 'Awaken The Giant Within' by Anthony Robbins)

posted by Agnes Kristianti at 12:52 AM




well, while seeing the re-run of Underworld : Revolution, I just had a glimpse that death is really an important thing in life. Knowing that our journey has an end is what make life should be more meaningful. Use time wisely .. just like spending the money..

I know I'm not a wise spender. Instead of spending it (both money and time) to what I need to do, I spend it to what I want to do. I mean, I always prefer to wait another 5-15 minutes sleep than wake up and get ready or clean my messy room.

Before coming home, I went to the Sampoerna Foundation information session. After going there, I went home feeling a little regret. Why didn't I take my study seriously.. Why didn't I make a clearer wish like Ibu Litta about going study abroad.. Why my career just seem going nowhere...

I know what my friend said is true, that I should stop blamming myself and put those miserable feelings outside of me. But I do feel responsible for I am today now. But I do really want to change my course of life. I wanna be successful, I wanna be affordable to buy my own house .. my car .. beautiful clothes .. my first dog .. I wanna help my parents and make them proud of me.

Starting today, I will use my time wisely and do something useful for my future.. I don't wanna live in the moment anymore. Who I am today determine who I will be in the future. My dear God, help me...
posted by Agnes Kristianti at 11:57 PM




am i a bitter person?
am i a likeable person?
do i know what i really want?

life is so dull
there's gotta be something more than just going to the office,
do things that i can't figure the objective

and many days i've spent feeling sorry for myself
feeling unconfident
feeling unworthy
feeling empty...

please allow me to break free
allow me to change my attittude
allow me to find my dream
and allow me to really live my life
posted by Agnes Kristianti at 2:51 AM




God, I love coffee...
It's one of your most-cherished creation!
posted by Agnes Kristianti at 2:25 AM




well, speaking about love ..
since my 2 other good friends at office just got married in december.. and my good friend since junior high is preparing her wedding which will due in July 2008.. i'm having a when-do-i-get-to-marry phobia..
not to mention, almost all my co-workers including my boss are either 'encouraging' or 'asking' me about the topic.. and they kinda happy to have me introduced to what they think is 'the eligible bachelor'..

and at the family gathering last sunday, i kinda sick of being asked :'mana nih calonnya?'

well, after being a bridesmaid at my friend's wedding.. I kinda often imagine me in the white gown .. and the more i imagine it, the more depressed i am not knowing when it might happen or even will it happen or not?


well, anyway...
this is not a related topic.. but, i am being in love with the song "thankful" by josh groban.
though i've had the album for quite some time, but i've only noticed it a few days ago since helon and i discussed about his songs.

and it reminds me of a topic we've discussed a few more days back with p'franky and helon .. that being thankful may be harder to do than being said, but it's so good in the eye of the almighty and so beautiful... !
posted by Agnes Kristianti at 11:42 PM




Ehm.. here i am, almost at the end of 2007...
If i can evaluate myself this year, I must say I don't feel much improving in way of thinking, knowledge, and self-actualization. If I compare myself last year, I was so keen on working.. thinking of new scenario and strategies for my client. Here.. I feel a decrease in my confidence level and competencies.
I keep wondering about did what I do matter? If I didn't do it, would it matter?

But of course I also have much more friends here, I don't have to always worry about people at office talking about me. I love the environment, but hate the jobs. At the previous job... I love the jobs so much, but also hate the environment. Well, I guess where I am now show me that nothing is perfect. And it's up to us what we're gonna do about it... improve it or just adapt to it.

So for next year.. I guess I have to choose. Do I really wanna stay at that office for another year and do what I can do, or find another place to really explore my potentials. Neverthless, I like what my boss said yesterday : "Vision is like a baby, it needs caring, efforts, and energy to make it grow". So, if I really wanna have a master degree.. I think I should be serious about it and send more applications.

So, my resolutions for 2008 will be :
1. go to school abroad to get a master degree
2. complete reading the Anthony Robbins' book : Awaken the giant within.
3. brushing my teeth and pray before going to bed

In spite of the frustration at work, life has been good. And though I am not good in counting blessings, I have to say that life has treated me fine this year. And I realize that I haven't said enough thanks to Jesus on that..

'thus have the paths of those on earth been straightened and men been taught what pleases you, and saved, by Wisdom'
posted by Agnes Kristianti at 11:41 PM




after many applications sent
after going thru those interviews.. (some are horrible and ridiculous)
after so many prayers
i've finally got a new place to work... hooraaayyy!!!

it's been a month now at the new place
most of my new colleagues are young.. so, it isn't so hard to get along with them
they are quite welcome too ..

but i learn something new here
well, my boss is a 'system' and 'detail' freak
what i think is, the system build around here reduces the organization agility and speed
for example, we're not allowed to bring personal harddisk, uses others PC, and get data from other projects without approval from my div head

I also had a shock on my second update to my boss. I was trusted to be a team leader for a project. It was really a big opportunity for me, so I put my best effort and time to get it right. When I handed to him just one slide of questions list for the interviews... he practically put me in the corner... and telling what I should do... which... I already did... but he was much more concentrated on what I did wrong then what I had done right...
It was a big disappointment for me.
Well, it turned out that I'm not the only one. I have some colleagues who feel the same too.
What I feel, he has this energy to dominate people... not energizing people.
I mean, all his talking about making the quality of life at work is bullshit to me.

One of my colleague said, here there's always a sense of crisis .. for a reason that a book of "Mestakung" by Johannes Surya mentions..
well, i've never read the book Mestakung.. but after I've heard from my other friend about the book.. I think this place has a wrong implementation of the book's essence.

I mean, this organization is full with rules, documents, and adminstration works that doesn't really matter. So many efforts and time taken for things which don't have big impacts for the organizations.

Well, I think this place should see itself differently. We are partners.. we don't put ourselves higher than other divisions.
This division must know the whole complete picture of the company.

--
posted by Agnes Kristianti at 11:27 PM